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Monday, April 11, 2011

Change is on the Horizon

* Very long post alert *

Where is My Heart?

I've thought about this long and hard lately.
And I've had to answer some tough questions for myself.
My life is changing before my eyes. Forced changes so to speak.
I never thought that taking a new job would catapult me into deep thinking and decision making like it has, but alas, it has.

What I want to do and what I know I need to do have finally met at the crossroads.

You see, I took a job that is 2 hours away from my house.
Obviously, making that drive is not feasible on a daily basis.
My mother lives 1 hour from where I work, so to make a shorter commute, I stay at her house
while I'm working. And then I go home to my actual house about one day every two weeks.
I love the job, so I make the sacrifice.
I didn't anticipate working so many long hours every single day, so even finding time to look for a house close to work just hasn't happened yet. My catch 22 is that when I have a day off, I need to go pack my house in KY, but I really need to be looking for a place to live in TN.
The reality is, I've been working 80 hours a week since I started, so when I do have a day off, my body wants to rest - not pack, not look for a house.
(on the plus side, I've lost 24 pounds in the last 10 weeks!)

So, what does that have to do with figuring out where my heart really is?
I'll tell ya.
When do we think the most? When we're alone and everything around us is quite.
I have two hours of that everyday, driving to and from work.

Here's what I've realized..........

1. I miss being in my own home, but I don't really need it.

2. I miss having my things around me, but it doesn't bother me to think about putting them in storage for a while.

3. When I have any free time, I want rest for my body. If I have the option to blog/read blogs,
or just fall into bed, say my prayers, and go to sleep, I choose the latter.

4. If I go into work late in the mornings, I'd rather make time for coffee with my mom than get on the computer and take time away from others.

5. When my husband isn't traveling, and he's not working at the office, he has to come to the town I work in and get a hotel so we can see each other. Usually, I make it to the room around 11pm, and then I'm back out around 6 or 7am. It's not fair to him. It's not fair to us.
God bless him though - he understands that I have to do what I have to do right now.

6. I hate to even admit this, but I find that I miss communicating with all of you, but I'm not missing my own blog. Is that bad? Am I just too busy to care?

Decorating is the farthest thing from my mind right now. And that's what I'm supposed to be blogging about, right? To be very honest with all of you, my heart just isn't there. Maybe it's because I'm so busy, maybe I'm simply too tired. Either way, it's not a priority for me anymore.
Let me make this clear - blogging about decorating isn't where my heart is.
You'll understand in a minute.

For a while now I've had some changes weighing on me. About my life,  my blog, my etsy shops, and about doing flea markets.

As for my life, hubby and I have decided that the easiest way to fix our living situation temporarily is to put all our things in storage and move into an extended stay hotel while we look for a place close to my work. This will at least put me within a few miles of my store and immediately eliminate the hour drive each way to work. He will still drive the same distance to work.

As for my blog, here's the realization I've had, which began months ago.
I've thought about what makes me passionate about writing, and what topics  I rush to write about vs the ones I let stew for a while.
I think you will all agree that my most heartfelt posts are about the needs of others, and spiritual experiences I've had myself.
When I write about someone in need, request prayer, ask you to lift someone up, or tell you what prayer has done for me, I get really passionate. I believe in the power of prayer and the miracles they can bring forth, and I believe that when good things happen in my own life, it is my duty to spread my faith.
My personal prayer list has over 350 items/people on it.
When I ask you all to help me pray, I can promise you that I am absolutely praying too.

My heart has been leading me to start another blog that focuses solely on rebuilding and strengthening your spirit. I started the other blog weeks ago, but I haven't got it "live" yet.
I am in the process of moving all of my inspirational posts over there.
When I post something there, I'll come here and let you know.
I have so many things I want to cover on that blog.
I'm calling it "Strengthen your Spirit", and it'll be a direct domain.
I will have resources, links to prayer groups, etc.
I get so many requests for prayer in email each week, and this is one way to start a public prayer chain for those in need. I hope you will give it a chance with me.

I'm not abandoning this blog, I'm just changing my focus.
When I have things that are unrelated to faith and prayer, I'll post it on this blog.
And I'll give sewing lessons when time allows.

About my etsy shops, I've decided to close all but one of my shops.
I will only be selling my aprons wholesale from now on to distributors.
(But if you want one, you can always email me.)

I will be closing my practical fun things shop, unless I can find a family memeber to take it over.

The one shop I haven't introduced you to yet will be the one that remains open.
I will tell you more about that when I'm ready to fully load the store.

About flea markets, I will only be doing 2 this season. After I've got all my things packed to move, I'll head to the Nashville Flea Market with all of the stuff I won't be taking with me. Instead of taking time to refinish all the wares in my garage, I'll instead be selling them unfinished for you to do yourself.
I'll let you know when I'll be there and what I'll have.

I've decided I can do with less that what I have now, and I can cope with not spreading myself too thin. And I'm fine with it. The days of trying to be all things to all people are over, and it's time to focus on putting the quality back in my life.

I want to be happy, I want my husband to be happy, and I want our family to remember who we are. We give them so very little time, and they deserve more from us. Times goes by so fast and we really regret missing out on so much.

My hectic work schedule will become leveled out in about another two weeks, and then hubby and I can start looking for a place to live together, and not trying to decifer what houses may or may not have based on the pics we find online and send to each other.
Once that happens, and we get settled into somewhere new, we'll be able to have a more normal life and schedule with no outside commitments.
I crave that day!

So there it is. That's where I am and where Im headed.
And I hope you will stick around to see what happens.
I've made many friends here and I hope to keep you all with me.
I know many of you share my faith and can understand why I feel the need to make these changes, and I thank you in advance.

Now, does anyone out there know of nice house for rent in Murfreesboro or LaVergne, TN?
I'd love the lead if you have one.

I hope you all have a super-duper fantastic day!


  1. Golly gee, do have a lot on your plate!! So I'm confused. Is the store you opened your new job or is it another job...somehow I remember you posting about a new job after you opened the store. You've got my head spinning, but I can follow everything you said and totally agree with you. Life crossroads are good....a fresh, new start and fresh new priorities! Praying that God will lay it all out for you and that things fall into place!

  2. I so understand. I remember a time when I worked in one state and hubby and home were in another. It just isn't worth it if you can change it. I so hope you find a place and can settle your life down. I look forward to your new blog. Hugs, Marty

  3. Change is never easy...even when it is change we desire and seek! All change has it's difficulties and challenges! You have just gone through one of the most difficult parts of change...figuring out exactly what it is that you want your change to look like! Now you know and have a's all downhill from there! As long as you continue to seek the Lord for His will and remain true to that He will give you everything you need to thrive rather than just survive!
    Looking forward to hearing great reports as you move forward into your new chapter of life!
    Wishing you a beautiful transition!
    ;-D Kathleen

  4. I commend you Polly! I think those silent drives have done you a world of good. You are so right about the quiet. I do my best plotting during those times.

    Be well, and I'll place you in our prayers. May all of your dreams come true!


  5. I was just commenting to a friend on the phone that sometimes in life, like when we make lemonade, we stir and shake until the sediment dissolves. Or if there are lemonade seeds, we wait for them to settle or come to the surface and them remove them. I told her I feel as though life is like that at times. We are part of the sugary mix being all stirred up until the sweet flavor melts our palate and taste buds. This post reminded me of that very thing!

    I LOVE you and will always remain your friend whether you have 10 blogs or none at all! Being inspired in the things of God, albeit prayer or simple human kindness or painting an armoire...doing it all for His Glory is who the saints are!

    I remain on the journey alongside you! Beautiful heartfelt words today!


  6. It sounds like you've done a lot of thinking and soul searching Polly. I am sure the commute and being away from home is taking a toll on you, too. I think you should absolutely do what you need and want to do, not what you feel you have to do.

  7. Good grief- I would be a puddle of tears and nerves if I was handling all you are right now! Your direction seems clear and I look forward to your new blog. God will strengthen you for all He desires for your life. We had an awesome guest speaker at our church on Sunday- check out his website for much encouragement and inspiration:

  8. Polly-
    Hard decisions-- but ones that I'm sure you've prayed over and have sought the Lord in many a time. I know that God will guide you whatever you endeavor to be doing.
    Being close to your hubby is so so so IMPORTANT. Being in God's will even More so--
    I don't know how you find time to blog with all you do; let alone all the shops and everything. I know you've felt the squeeze. I pray that God gives you Grace and Peace during this transition and will be watching for your postings here.

    PS: I thought you were going to say that you were switching gears here at 'Make Mine Beautiful' and it would be regard spiritual things only. Because after all; isn't that what He does? Makes our Lives Beautiful. He gives us beauty for ashes...

    Be blessed.

  9. Hi, Polly! I think you are a truly gifted writer. And we can tell your heart is in matters of the spirit. I completely understand the changes you have decided to make.
    I pray your schedule will quickly smooth out so you can enjoy this wonderful, exciting season in your life.

  10. I didn't want to read this post because I kinda thought that you might be leaving blogging. I have missed you and your great posts. But there are only so many hours in the day.
    Good luck on your house hunt.

  11. I too hope your schedule levels out as well!! As for this blog stopping, it makes me sad. But I sure do understand. One has to go where their heart is leading them. Where the Spirit leads; there you must be!
    Best wishes!!

  12. im exhausted just reading about your busy!
    god bless u and your family.

  13. Polly.. you have done amazingly well to do all you've been doing.. Please know you are in my prayers and good wishes... Take care of yourself..


  14. Do what your heart tells you to do. Make time for yourself, for that is what is most important for your creativity to stay alive. Which means, please always, somehow, find time to stop and smell the roses. I hope you get it all figured out soon and have minimal stress!

  15. Hi Polly. I am back on the computer again and back home in Florida. Still a lot on my plate but taking it one day at a time. I miss you and wow have YOU been busy. Hopefully we can connect soon. Thinking and praying for YOU. Big Hugs

  16. Hi there, found your blog the other day and added it to my favorite blog list on my own blog then today I took the time to read your heart-note. Goodness ,,, I used to have a 65/75 hour a week job in Paris France with 40 people under me and I still found time to do some stuff for me but I knew that something was slipping away yet I could not quite put my finger on it. I then , as I was on a work high, decided to move to Brazil and set up my own collection after years of hearing people say I should. Then my business partners swindled us,I turned fifty and my boyfriend left me for some local siliconed ass. My world fell apart and I plunged into a dark hole. Condemned to stay illegaly in Sao Paulo, a dangerous city and also to continue to live with my ex as he dated right left and center was terrible ,,,, then I borrowed some cash made a collection found new partners and a new house ( still with the ex ) and thigns got a little better, I kept my pain to myself. My ex then got married giving him at least a visa and I still worked all the hours I could to keep from thinking until I could no longer make it . I then accepted an offer to work in China and moved away from the mess proposing to continue designing from there in my 'free' time. As soon as I landed in China my partners in Sao Paulo shut up shop and kicked my ex and his wife out and stole our business. In China the recession hit a few days later and my new partners ignored me too embarassed to tell me and I fell back into that deep dark place. I chose then to move back to France and someone sent me a ticket so I left empty handed, broke and deeply depressed and searched for a reason, something to lift me up. in Paris with no money no home and no friends ( because I no longer had that great job ! ) I did make it out of the hole and with no medication. I decided to stop fashion work and then after finding a nice home thanks t oone old friend I moved everything down to the south deciding that if I was to start over it would be i na beautiful place and in the sun.I did find the strenghth and at each turn I prayed and received an answer in return. When I say to people that god has always given me what I have asked for they are of course sceptic but I should say that unfortunately he has !! we must be careful of what we ask as the saying goes ! I now live in a nece home but have zero income but I do have two lovely little dogs and a few good friends. I bless each day that allows me to get out of bed with no help and each meal that I eat. To see me no-one would ever guess and that in itself is good. I know what you are going through and maybe my comment seems irrelevent but its in the spritit of prayer. I have absolutely no idea of what tomorrow holds and I have come to see that as a gift. I hope that you manage to find a solution for your problems ,, my own stuff has been in storage since I left for Brazil and I miss my things but one day I will see them again when I have arranged my life a bit. Good luck and I will look out for both your blogs from here on . best wishes Stephanie ,


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